Episode 58: 5 Ways to Use Rejection To Fuel Your Success
“Now that I’m older, I truly think about it differently. Every single rejection you get, I have learned, if you listen and observe carefully without all the defensiveness and the ego getting hysterical, it can unlock amazing doors for you.” – Kathy Caprino
Rejection, both from others and from inner selves, is a common issue faced by the many thousands of women I have heard from and worked with. This is why in this episode of Finding Brave, I talk about the different aspects of rejection and how we can handle it in a way that fuels and expands our success.
How you handle rejection will directly determine the degree to which you can reach your goals. I recently posted an image with this quote on LinkedIn, and it’s resonated with many folks, with over 55,000 views and 1,100 likes in just a few days.
It may be hard to believe sometimes, but rejection can and will lead to amazing success if you approach it the right way. Today I share my own personal, and often painful, experiences around being rejected, and I share 5 positive lessons that rejection can offer that can fuel your success, rather than demoralize you.
As always, I would love to hear how this episode has resonated with you, and I welcome your suggestions for any future topics or interviewees that you’re interested in. Please reach out to me by email, or on social media via LinkedIn, or on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest to say hello and share your ideas!
Highlights from this Episode:
- The ways I reacted to rejection when I was younger versus how I think about it today [5:25]
- How rejection can lead to making valuable changes to your idea, project, or product [8:35]
- Why the timing, and actually being ready for success, matters so much [13:54]
- The reason I’m such a fan of research regarding new products and programs, but why your friends shouldn’t be the ones you turn to for it [16:05]
- The way to approach feedback so that you’re not limiting your own success unintentionally [18:15]
- How you can begin to recognize how amazing you are and why this is necessary to live the best life you can [21:00]
- What to identify in order to share a more authentic self [23:46]
- How to know when “perfectionistic over-functioning” is holding you back [29:20]
Resources Mentioned:
Kathy’s Career Path Self-Assessment
Kathy’s Close Your Power Gaps private coaching program
Kathy’s article – 3 Key Steps to Moving from Self-Rejection Toward Self-Love
Kathy’s TEDx Talk “Time to Brave Up”
Kathy video and post:
What Is Feminism and Why Do So Many Men and Women Hate It
Kathy’s Forbes post: How Being Raised by a Narcissist Affects Your Self-Esteem
Kathy’s Forbes interview: What Selling Three Million Copies of ‘The Dance of Anger’ Has Taught Harriet Lerner
Kathy’s Forbes interview: What the Most Rejected Person in the World Can Teach About Triumph and Creating Work We Love featuring Daniel Seddiqui
Other helpful info:
Hands-on Breakthrough Coaching from Kathy
If you are longing to personally experience more power, confidence, authority, and self-esteem in your life and work, you can learn about my transformative 4-session Close Your Power Gap coaching program by clicking here.
And for Small Business owners, consultants and practitioners, check out my Breakthrough Coaching for Small Businesses.
QUOTES:
“I love to look at what the big challenges are so that we can address those with eyes wide open, and so that we can move forward faster, better, and easier.” [2:04]
“What I see in so many thousands of women that I hear from and work with is there’s a lot of self-rejection going on.” [3:03]
“10 years ago nobody cared about professional women’s challenges. That’s the difference 10 years can make.” [13:21]
“The Universe sometimes pushes back on an idea and makes you wait until it can come to fruition because the timing wasn’t right.” [13:43]
“Feedback, which can be rejection-oriented, can actually inform you, but you’re not going to hear it and you’re not going to understand it if you are too busy defending yourself and being angry at it.” [19:31]
“You’re not self-absorbed and you’re not narcissistic just because you love yourself.” [24:32]
“You will develop more self-love the more you put yourself out there.” [26:50]
Sponsor Highlight!
I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave
Watch the video of this episode!
Now you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my Youtube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show!
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Episode 57: Helping Women Over 50 Keep Their Jobs (and Love Themselves), with Bonnie Marcus
“When we internalize these negative assumptions about ourselves as aging women and start to believe them, we belittle ourselves. We diminish ourselves, we hold ourselves back, and we become invisible.” – Bonnie Marcus
There are many challenges that people over 50 face in today’s society, but women of this age can especially feel diminished and dismissed in the workplace. Today’s guest shines a light on the ageist and sexist assumptions that do exist, and what happens when we internalize these assumptions and play small in our careers and in our lives.
Bonnie Marcus empowers professional women to own their talent and ambition and step into their full potential. Through her book, The Politics of Promotion (Wiley 2015), speaking, coaching and Forbes column, Bonnie helps women navigate the complexities of the workplace today to get ahead. She has done extensive research on women and ambition and co-authored a white paper on the topic.
A former CEO, Bonnie’s business experience started at the entry level. She learned the business skills and political savvy on the job that contributed to her success. Her latest project focuses on helping women over 50 keep their jobs. This book will expose the double whammy of ageism and sexism for women in the workplace and help women reject the ageist assumptions that keep them small and take away their power. She guides them to reconnect with their badass energy and write a new empowering story for themselves.
A certified executive coach, Forbes columnist, and popular keynote speaker, Bonnie has earned the recognition of being a Global Gurus Top 30 coach in the world 4 years in a row.
Bonnie offers not only valuable insight for women as they age on how to stay marketable and employed, but this conversation is also focused on empowering yourself by highlighting what you have already achieved and contributed in your career. Ultimately it’s up to you to define who you are, write a new story for yourself and most importantly, find brave each day while believing in it.
Highlights from this Episode:
- What ageism is to Bonnie, who it affects and in what ways [4:22]
- Common stereotypes about older people, especially women [5:33]
- The internal stories that older women are telling themselves [9:53]
- Shocking research about how men are viewed differently than women as they age and why this is happening [11:58]
- What women have to do to keep their jobs and love themselves, and what Bonnie means by “declare your ambition” [19:01]
- How to still be vibrant at work while honoring that fact that you may be slowing down in your professional life [25:40]
- The way that ageism puts people in boxes, and the first step to getting rid of the shame you may feel about your age [32:15]
- Outcomes that Bonnie is seeing from the uplifting women she works with [36:31]
- Why it all comes down to setting boundaries and stepping into your power [38:14]
For More Information:
https://womenssuccesscoaching.com/
https://bonniemarcusspeaking.com/
https://twitter.com/selfpromote
https://www.linkedin.com/in/bonniemarcus/
https://www.facebook.com/bonnie.marcus
Resources Mentioned:
Bonnie’s Forbes Column
Her Book, The Politics of Promotion (Wiley 2015)
Kathy’s Forbes Posts, The Top 6 Communication Challenges Professional Women Face, The 12 Hidden Crises Working Women Face & 7 Damaging Power Gaps That Keep Professionals From Thriving
Episode 4: Gender, Power and Relationships, and the Crushing Effects of Patriarchy, with Terry Real
QUOTES:
“Aging is just a scary thing for most people, but especially women, so I’m glad we’re talking about it today.” [3:02]
“We put people in categories based on their age, and then we make assumptions about them.” [4:57]
“A lot of these myths, unfortunately, work against us in the workplace because when companies believe these assumptions, it influences their hiring practices, their promotion practices and we suffer because of it.” [8:13]
“For women, aging is a double whammy, and the double whammy is the combination of sexism and ageism.” [11:16]
“It’s also important to continue to network, to build a cross-generational network and to perhaps mentor younger people.” [24:04]
“As we age, we put ourselves in a really small box. We become ashamed of our age and we retreat, and it’s all about finding your brave.” [31:21]
“It’s about holding onto the value that you have to contribute to your organization, offering to help people and putting yourself out there.” [37:31]
Sponsor Highlight!
I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave
Watch the video of this episode!
Now you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my Youtube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show!
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Episode 56: 5 Ways To Live Fearlessly with Breakthrough and Purpose, with Jean Case
“Generally speaking, I think it’s at one level no different for men and women. If you’re in a comfortable place, sometimes it’s hard to be willing to become uncomfortable, but if you want to do great things, it’s going to take doing that through life.” – Jean Case
When setting out to investigate the core qualities of great entrepreneurs and changemakers, today’s Finding Brave guest discovered traits that they all had in common. You’ll hear how it isn’t wealth, privilege or even genius, but rather how they choose to make a “big bet,” take bold risks, learn from their failures, reach beyond their bubbles, and let urgency conquer fear.
Jean Case, the Chairman of the National Geographic Society and CEO of the Case Foundation, is a philanthropist, investor, and internet and impact investing pioneer who advocates for the importance of embracing a more fearless approach to innovate and bring about transformational breakthroughs. She is the author of the new book, Be Fearless: 5 Principles for a Life of Breakthroughs and Purpose.
Her career in the private sector, including as a senior executive at AOL, spanned nearly two decades before co-founding the Case Foundation in 1997. Under her leadership, the Case Foundation has been recognized for its innovative efforts to address significant social challenges, harnessing the best impulses of entrepreneurship, innovation, technology, and collaboration to drive exponential impact.
In addition, Jean currently serves on the boards of National Geographic Partners, Accelerate Brain Cancer Cure (ABC2), the White House Historical Association and BrainScope Company, Inc. as well as on the advisory boards of the Brain Trust Accelerator Fund, Stanford Center on Philanthropy and Civil Society and Georgetown University’s Beeck Center for Social Impact and Innovation.
What Jean shares today demonstrates that all of us can do extraordinary things. It really just takes understanding that action and commitment are key as is starting where you are and taking the small, empowering steps that will lead you towards the realization of your big idea.
Highlights from this Episode:
- What often stops people from pursuing their ideas and a big myth that Jean tackles in her book [4:04]
- Why giving back means so much to her personally [7:06]
- How Jean decides where to donate her time and energy, with so many worthy causes available [9:07]
- A major development in her own career path that changed the trajectory of her life [10:54]
- What we can do to make failure matter, and a personal example from Jean [12:32]
- Her pillars of living a fearless life [16:52]
- What are the true consequences of not taking risks [20:04]
- A powerful case study of how someone she knows is conquering fear using urgency [22:07]
- Jean’s practical tips for getting resources to fun your big idea that will help others [25:09]
- How she’s been able to increase her own confidence [27:03]
- Ways you can reframe, and even embrace, failure [31:10]
For More Information:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jean-case-bb31725/
https://www.facebook.com/jeancase
https://www.instagram.com/jeancasecf/
Resources Mentioned:
Jean’s New Book, Be Fearless: 5 Principles for a Life of Breakthroughs and Purpose
Her Blog Post, The Painful Acknowledgment of Coming Up Short
Kathy’s Forbes Post, Critical Gender Differences In Americans’ Top Career Regrets
37: What Is Heaven On Earth To You and Can You Have It?, with Martin Rutte
Oprah Winfrey’s Harvard Commencement Speech
QUOTES:
“People have great ideas about how to make a better world, but often what they’re lacking is sort of a framework for how to get started.” [4:04]
“It is not the lack of fear, but the ability to stare fear in the eye and push past it.” [5:26]
“I was truly a recipient of the generosity of others, both of their time and of their resources.” [7:34]
“We all have to figure out what we are uniquely good at and what are the implications of that in terms of the things that we choose to do.” [10:07]
“In each one of those roles, I just kept pursuing the next opportunity that would let me do more to empower others.” [12:04]
“So I think as individuals, if we can embrace the new path we’re going to set out on, it’s experimenting and we’ll get some things right but we’re not going to be stopped by the few failures we might have along the way.” [15:16]
“What is the risk of not taking the risk, and how will you feel down the line if you passed on a big opportunity?” [20:26]
“The facts are that nothing great comes from [being in] the comfort zone.” [21:13]
“Start right where you are. All of us have something we can bring to get started on making a difference or finding a breakthrough.” [23:24]
Sponsor Highlight!
I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave
Watch the video of this episode!
Now you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my Youtube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show!
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Episode 55: Key Steps To Bringing Your Big Dreams To Life, with Ann Louden
“I’m grateful for those hard challenges, because I probably wouldn’t have been brave enough to have thought big without them. If my life had been good, and perfect, and wonderful, and there was nothing that I needed to alter, then I wouldn’t have done any of the things that I am so happy to have had the chance to accomplish.” – Ann Louden
If you’re a listener of this podcast, there’s a good chance you have big dreams for your life. Today’s Finding Brave expert guest is a walking example of someone who is bringing her own BIG dreams to life, and thinking “when,” not “if,” they will happen.
Ann Louden is CEO and Founder of the Ann Louden Company, and consults for non-profits in higher education, the arts, social services, and healthcare.
With thirty years in higher education administration, Ann is recognized in the world of philanthropy as a seasoned fundraising expert, a strategic and innovative thinker, an engaging teacher, and a passionate representative for the causes she serves.
A new resident of New York City in the last year, Ann relocated from Texas to claim her second chapter of life. Even before her move, two CEO’s in the fields of higher education and adoption retained her to help them “think big” as their full-time consultant.
Among Ann’s proudest achievements is the creation of a national cancer advocacy program for which she built the brand and was the spokesperson for twelve years. The stories she shares reveal her extremely innovative approach to dreaming up a brand that has the power to raise visibility, funds, and support, and at the same time, offers a unique way to honor the courage of cancer survivors and their families.
As you’ll hear, Ann’s life hasn’t been without its share of struggles on her journey, but these challenges are what she feels have brought her to the new exciting place where she finds herself today. Her story will be an inspiration to others by showing that dreams don’t just “come” to us. We have to actually do the work and attend to all the details along the way to will — and birth — them into existence.
Highlights from this Episode:
- How Ann got started with turning her dreams into reality and some of the personal challenges she has faced along the way [3:47]
- The way she has been able to “turn her mess into a message” [5:18]
- Where your big dreams will come from and the importance of visualizing, while not getting too attached to the outcome [7:28]
- How Ann built her confidence and what doing this showed her daughter [12:48]
- Her inspiring story of how she gets celebrity endorsements for her cause [15:26]
- What having good help will do for you on your own journey [24:07]
- Why visualization isn’t enough and the role that hard work will have to play [28:13]
- Ann’s tips for someone not feeling worthy enough to pursue their dreams [31:54]
For More Information:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ann-louden/
https://www.facebook.com/ann.louden.92
https://www.instagram.com/loudenann/
Resources Mentioned:
Frogs for the Cure on Facebook
Josh Groban’s, Brave (Official Video)
28: The Epidemic of Loneliness In the Workplace and How To Cure It, with Mike Stallard
The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
QUOTES:
“Big dreams don’t come to us until we’re a little more seasoned.” [3:54]
“I had choices to make, in a moment of great vulnerability, and the choice was either to stay and accept what was status quo, or to imagine what could be the biggest and scariest thing I could do.” [10:23]
“In a challenging situation, you don’t have to choose what’s familiar. You can choose what’s difficult and then on the other side of the decision, you can be a different person.” [15:21]
“The answer is building a group around you that can help you.” [24:07]
“I just needed to hear somebody say ‘you can do this.’ I thought I could, but it was so critical for me to have the cheerleaders.” [26:54]
“Showing up means attending to the details in the plan and working many hours to get big dreams to happen.” [29:12]
Sponsor Highlight!
I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave
Watch the video of this episode!
Now you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my Youtube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show!
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Episode 54: Living Big - Overcoming Scarcity and Achieving Your Highest Visions, with Ajit Nawalkha
“There’s no reason for you to work 18 hours a day. You can work 5 and still create a great company, still change the world and still be able to grow yourself in the process and live a great life.” – Ajit Nawalkha
Do you ever feel that you need to sacrifice your life, and experience extreme burnout in the process, all just to have success as an entrepreneur? If so you’re not alone, but today’s guest is going to challenge this myth and show you avoid this and how not have to work around the clock to realize your dreams.
Ajit Nawalkha, is a serial entrepreneur, global educator, and consultant. He is the co-founder of Mindvalley Teach, Evercoach and Global GRIT Institute, author of The Book of Coaching and Live Big. Born in Jaipur, Rajasthan living in a home with 23 other people, he has always pursued the dream of Living Big. Over the past decade, Ajit has helped build training and coaching companies to inspire the coming generation, transform entrepreneurs to live on purpose, while enjoying their lives and increasing profits.
Ajit reveals powerful insights that provide valuable clues on how to live a bigger life, and as you’ll hear, it really all begins reframing your mindset and perspective on what it really takes to be successful.
Highlights from this Episode:
- How “living big” involves more than just money [2:15]
- Ajit’s background with scarcity and how he overcame it [4:08]
- Ways that overcoming scarcity can lead to abundance in your life [6:40]
- How to have an abundance mindset, regardless of your current reality [10:44]
- Why resisting your reality and getting angry won’t help change it [13:05]
- What causes burnout for so many entrepreneurs and how this is getting in the way of our biggest dreams [18:12]
- Why change is actually a positive thing to experience [22:40]
- Ajit’s practical steps to living big [23:53]
- A major entrepreneurial turning point or him and what we can learn from it [31:55]
- How to decide whether or not to be personal brand [35:19]
- The major message from Ajit’s book, Live Big [40:00]
For More Information:
https://www.facebook.com/ajitnawalkhaofficial/
https://my.linkedin.com/in/ajitnawalkha
https://www.instagram.com/ajitnawalkha/
Resources Mentioned:
Ajit’s New Book, Live Big: The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Passion, Practicality, and Purpose (with Bonuses)
His Book, The Book Of Coaching: For Extraordinary Coaches
Mike Dooley’s Notes from the Universe
QUOTES:
“I kind of got wired for always thinking that I don’t have enough.” [4:34]
“There’s no limit to how scarce you can feel, irrespective of your bank account, the amount of love you get from people, or anything.” [9:18]
“Every business is subject to the entrepreneur’s desire of what they want to build. There is no right or wrong, there are simply different strategies and different playbooks.” [15:57]
“The system only works to a certain degree. It helps you move your learning a little bit faster, but you have to customize that system for it to really work for you.” [17:07]
“It’s not going to be how many hours you can plow through something, but what you can do in those hours. How are you investing your time in learning new things?” [21:28]
“Most of the time when people use a personal brand, it’s because they care for recognition more than the value. It’s not always true, but often that’s the case.” [35:36]
Sponsor Highlight!
I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave
Watch the video of this episode!
Now you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my Youtube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show!
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Episode 53: Why It Helps Men To Join The Gender Equality Movement, with Michael Kaufman
“What I’m seeing here is this absolutely amazing paradox. We live in a world of men’s power, where just by the virtue of birth, half of us have certain privileges, but at the same time, the ways that we have traditionally defined men’s lives comes with a huge cost.” – Michael Kaufman
At work and home, the gender equality revolution is critical for the advancement of women. However, today’s Finding Brave guest makes the case that this movement is also a great gift for men. There’s a paradox of men’s power that exists in this male-dominated world, but significant changes are being made to address the challenges it presents.
Michael Kaufman, PhD, is a renowned writer, advisor, and speaker focused on engaging men to promote gender equality, end violence against women, and transform the lives of men. He has worked in 50 countries with the United Nations, governments, NGOs, women’s organizations, and businesses.
He is the co-founder of White Ribbon Campaign, a Senior Fellow with Promundo based in Washington DC, and last year was the only male member of Justin Trudeau’s G7 Gender Equality Advisory Council
The author of eight books, including two novels, Michael’s newest book is The Time Has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution.
You’ll learn why having an having an open dialogue around gender equality is critical, but we must find positive ways to reach out to men to be part of the gender equality movement. As our expert guest shares, changes are happening that will positively affect not only this generation of men and women, but our children and future generations to come.
Highlights from this Episode:
- Why it’s so important for men to take action now and get involved in the gender equality movement and why it’s not about men “losing” [3:03]
- What influenced Michael to support the gender equality revolution and how his book helps other men do the same [7:14]
- How the pressure to be a “real man” starts early for males and the paradox and cost this results in [10:24]
- A valuable lesson Michael learned early on from his parents on the need to take sides [16:14]
- What feminism isn’t about [21:09]
- Practical steps that men can take now to join the revolution [23:29]
- Michael’s special message for not only men, but everyone [28:22]
- The true power of open dialogue [30:24]
For More Information:
https://ca.linkedin.com/in/michael-kaufman-gendereq
https://www.facebook.com/MichaelKaufman.mk/
Resources Mentioned:
Michael’s last book, The Time Has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution
His Previous Books
Kathy’s Forbes post on What Is Feminism And Why Do So Many Women And Men Hate It?
Kathy’s Forbes post on How To Stop Staying ‘I’m Sorry’ When You’re Not (And Why You Need To)
Episode 4: Gender, Power and Relationships, and the Crushing Effects of Patriarchy, with Terry Real
QUOTES:
“I actually think that feminism is the greatest gift that men have ever had.” [4:52]
“Part of what my book does is talk about those things to give men the tools to take action, but it also gives women the tools to engage men.” [7:37]
“We’re supposed to have power, right? We’re men, but most men don’t feel powerful. Most men don’t feel in control. Most men carry around this incredible burden of not being able to live up to the expectations of manhood.” [10:08]
“Listen with respect. Take it in. I think part of men’s journeys have to include listening.” [20:45]
“This is about change. It is going to benefit women and men, and certainly it’s going to benefit the children of the future.” [25:22]
“We’re products of this society, all of us, both women and men. As products of that society, there are things that most of us have done.” [30:52]
Sponsor Highlight!
I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave
Watch the video of this episode!
Now you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my Youtube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show!
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Episode 52: How To Reduce Your Stress and Ask For Help, with Andrea Goeglein
“We’ve made a social contract to come into this organization, however, contracts can be broken. Whichever direction it gets broken, we have to take the responsibility and either take care of ourselves and get out of it, or help fix it. There’s really very little in between, and we’re not supposed to see how much crap we can take.” – Andrea Goeglein
Asking for help, especially in the workplace, often feels like we’re waving a neon sign of weakness. However, today’s expert guest — who literally wrote the book on being brave regarding asking for help — explains how asking for the right kind of assistance is essential to reducing stress, positively impacting our results and building a foundation for strong relationships.
Dr. Andrea Goeglein has a fascinating personal and professional story, complete with important and powerful lessons learned, starting with what she realized after altering the truth of her age (of 14) to land a job at a Wall Street brokerage firm. By 24, she opened her first operating business – a Haagen-Dazs ice cream store in Reno, Nevada. Many businesses and a PhD in Organizational Psychology later, Andrea has experienced enough stress and anxiety to be an expert.
Today she is a Success Catalyst and known as Dr. Success™. Andrea is the founder, curator and author of the Don’t Die™ self-development collection of books. Her latest book is Don’t Die Waiting to Be Brave. As an expert in Applied Positive Psychology, she is her clients’ success Sherpa, guiding them as they climb the mountain of success.
In today’s Finding Brave you’ll not only know when to ask for help, but who to ask and how to do it in order to flourish in your professional life. The choice to ask for help is ours, and we will create even more bravery and success when we know how much choice we really have.
Highlights from this Episode:
- Why Andrea says that asking for help has been a natural iteration for her [3:08]
- The reason that work was a salvation for her from a very early age [8:00]
- How women can ask questions without damaging the perception of competence [12:50]
- Examples of how we can ask for help as a way to reduce stress [15:54]
- A piece of wisdom from Andrea that transcends all human relationships [23:50]
- Her tips for having braving conversations and one crucial technique that everyone should know how to use [25:30]
- How to tell if you are working in a toxic culture and what to do if you find yourself in one [28:50]
- Who to seek out in your organization to give you help [38:10]
- Practical steps to take today to start getting help in your life [44:05]
For More Information:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuccessphd/
https://www.facebook.com/DrSuccessPhD/
https://www.instagram.com/drsuccess/
https://www.youtube.com/user/ServingSuccess
Resources Mentioned:
Andrea’s Don’t Die™ Book Series & Free E-Books
Her Latest Book, Don’t Die Waiting to Be Brave
Andrea’s Live Gatherings, Free Online Courses & Online Learning
Kathy’s Forbes Interview with Andrea, How To Alleviate Your Stress And Ask For Help Without Appearing Weak
Books by Dr. Phil McGraw
QUOTES:
“I have walked this path the hard way, both academically and in life.” [4:34]
“I have spent my entire life helping myself and others appreciate what achievement in business can do for them as part of their healthy self-image.” [8:18]
“Every time you take a step towards that authenticity, somehow or other, you have asked for help.” [10:56]
“Organizations hold out the hope that you can live to be who they know you should be, versus who you are showing up as at that moment.” [21:30]
“At this moment in time we are at a pinnacle of evolution in how corporations are behaving.” [41:30]
“We are human beings. We do progress if we stay in the conversation and not make it about us, but about the greater good of what we are creating.” [42:07]
“We will find brave when we know how much choice we really have.” [43:47]
Sponsor Highlight!
I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave
Watch the video of this episode!
Now you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my Youtube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show!
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Episode 51: Six Essential Questions To Ask For the New Year
“You just have to believe that there’s a higher version of you that you can tap into and that can access higher-level wisdom, insight, solutions, strategies, people, and connections. If you believe it, and if you believe it strongly, it’s amazing what happens in your life.” – Kathy Caprino
Most of us know from experience that New Year’s resolutions and the huge, hairy goals we dream up for our lives often arrive with great gusto, but all too frequently they die on the vine very soon after we’ve written them down.
Today, I’m excited to share a helpful year-end strategy of reflection — the process of reflecting back on the past year in an in-depth, careful and probing way, exploring all that you’ve learned and experienced, created, and also “failed” at — as an effective step to get clearer clear on what you really want in your life.
This reflection process helps you connect in a powerful, juicy way with your ultimate dreams and desires, and it highlights where you’ve been living “off course” – far away from what your most authentic self really wants.
In this episode, I explore what I’ve found to be six essential reflection questions that are perfect for this time of year, to help us take stock, expand our gratitude and appreciation for all that we are today, and set the wheels in motion for shifting our approach to how we operate, communicate and engage with others and with our core challenges and power gaps. This reflection process hatches important new revelations and sets the stage for a brand new future.
As always, be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you reflect, and remember that everything that’s happened can be used to bolster and uplift you if you let it.
At the end of the show, I sing a little song to welcome in the New Year, from my heart to yours.
I’d love to hear how your answers to these six questions impact you. And I welcome your suggestions for any future topics or interviewees that you’re interested in. Please reach out to me by email, or on social media via LinkedIn, or on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and say hello and share your ideas!
I wish you and your family very Happy Holidays and I’m looking forward to serving you fresh, new episodes of Finding Brave in 2019 that will move you forward to create life and work as you dream it to be.
Happy New Year!
Highlights from this Episode:
- The benefits of reflection and what it can help you achieve these next 12 months [2:45]
- What our lives are giving us, but we often miss [6:14]
- Why you need to celebrate all of your wins, no matter how small you may think they are [7:48]
- What I tell myself when things don’t see to be working out for me and how we can reframe our experiences to benefit from them [9:40]
- Why we need to focus on so much more than just outcomes [12:30]
- Visualization truly works – here’s an exercise that I do [16:40]
- What is your “higher self” and how you can receive help from it [18:34]
- What is one thing that is needed to overcome your resistance [22:43]
- The reasons that accountability is needed and where we can get it [24:42]
- The power gaps that keep people from thriving in their lives and in their work [25:35]
- How you can move past a traumatic event and finally let it go [30:56]
- My theme word for 2019 and an invitation for you to create one as well [31:31]
- A little song for you to welcome in the New Year [33:25]
Resources Mentioned:
Episode 50: How To Reduce Pain and Conflict With Family and Friends This Holiday
Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life by Shakti Gawain
46: 7 Damaging Power Gaps That Keep You From Thriving in Life and Work
Kathy’s Forbes post on How To Stop Saying ‘I’m Sorry’ When You’re Not (And Why You Need To)
QUOTES:
“Nothing is wasted — everything you’ve learned and everything you’ve experienced, even if you’ve fallen down flat on your face, is useful. What we want to do is leverage everything we’ve been, done and learned, and then build on that for the next chapter.” [3:09]
“You can’t just be grateful for the amazing stuff. It helps propel you forward when you can also be grateful for the difficult stuff.” [4:06]
“I am a fan of helping people realize they do have an idea of what they want. They absolutely do, but they just don’t recognize that as a valid idea.” [12:11]
“I get a lot out of juice out of turning my mess into a message. Could you?” [13:48]
“Envision what would be a happier, more abundant, prosperous, successful and joyful experience. See yourself with all your senses in it and I promise you that paves the way for it to come to pass.” [18:07]
“What habit can you build that’s going to help you get to where you want to go?” [24:34]
“If you isolate and you won’t ask for help, you’re never going to get it and you’re going to stay stuck.” [27:51]
I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave
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Episode 50: How To Reduce Pain and Conflict With Family and Friends This Holiday
“When you’re getting together with family, friends, your parents, and with your siblings, don’t keep using the stories from the past as an excuse to feel what you feel today.” – Kathy Caprino
You may think that pain and conflict with family and friends during the busy holiday season is unavoidable, but on today’s episode of Finding Brave I’m giving you 5 practical and doable strategies that will help.
These strategies aren’t just what I’ve encountered when coaching and helping others, but what I talk about today touch on challenges and struggles I’ve personally experienced.
Using these strategies will allow you to find ways to be loving, compassionate, joyful, and grateful all at the same time. So dig deep in your heart and spirit this holiday season and embrace the good, kind, the loving and compassionate – in yourself and others.
Make a commitment to see good and to emphasize what you have in common, what you love together. And your holiday will go very differently, I guarantee it.
Highlights from this Episode:
- What research shows us about the stories and we tell ourselves and why they may not always be accurate [3:53]
- A personal story that I held onto for years and how I was able to finally let it go [4:34]
- Why outside help is often needed when we’re struggling to experience love, compassion and healing, and some ways we can receive it [11:52]
- Examples of how to assert your boundaries and why it doesn’t have to be complicated to do this [14:58]
- The reasons why it’s often better to avoid certain topics with family or friends, and strategies you can use [17:19]
- What can shape the views of others and why we should be aware of this [19:40]
- How to interact successfully with people who don’t share the same core beliefs and values as you do [21:24]
QUOTES:
“I’ve learned a heck of a lot about what I need to do to make sure that the time I have with my family and friends is as loving as it can be.” [3:03]
“There are a thousand different ways you can heal when you feel you can’t let something go, and when you can’t shift your level of consciousness on your own.” [12:01]
“Some people almost wear it as a badge of honor that their therapist wasn’t helpful. If you’ve gone to four therapists and they’re not helpful, you are the problem and you don’t want to change.” [13:09]
“Don’t take the bait and talk about the thing that you know that you will never see eye-to-eye on. Why do it?” [17:19]
“You can be loving and engage with people in a loving way, even if they didn’t vote the way you voted.” [21:24]
I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave
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Episode 49: Speaking Brave - How Your Words Create Your Reality and Your Happiness, with Michelle Gielan
“If you’re not feeling so positive and you go engage in a simple positive habit, and then you feel better, you’re reminding your brain that your behaviors matter.” – Michelle Gielan
One of my favorite topics is how to speak bravely, and today’s Finding Brave guest is someone who can back up the importance of doing this with strong research. What she shares today reveals how our language shapes and influences our reality so much more than most of us understand.
Michelle Gielan is the bestselling author of Broadcasting Happiness: The Science of Igniting and Sustaining Positive Change and was named one of the Top 10 authors on resilience by the Harvard Business Review. She is the founder of the Institute for Applied Positive Research.
Michelle is also the Executive Producer of “The Happiness Advantage” on PBS and a featured professor in Oprah’s Happiness course. She formerly served as anchor of The CBS Morning News. Michelle has spent the past decade researching the link between happiness and success and her research has received attention from dozens of media outlets including: The Washington Post, Forbes, and The New York Times, among other major outlets.
What you’ll learn in this episode is that although being happy may be challenging sometimes, happiness is indeed a choice. In the long run, we will all have a much great chance of achieving happiness if we are deliberate and committed to achieving it on a daily basis.
Highlights from this Episode:
- What Michelle’s amazing research on happiness is telling us [4:19]
- How positive talk really works and why she focuses on the work that she’s doing [5:41]
- The 3 elements that make up a successful mindset and what mastering them will allow you to do [6:09]
- How we can reverse pessimism and stop being so hard on ourselves [8:55]
- A powerful real life example of how happiness is a choice [13:54]
- The damaging effects of negative news and how we can stay informed without getting depressed [19:14]
- Michelle’s suggestions for the language we use and two practices we can implement today to increase our levels of happiness [25:10]
- Why we shouldn’t be dimming our own light to other people and what we can be doing instead [29:56]
For More Information:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/michellegielan/
https://www.facebook.com/michellegielan/
https://twitter.com/michellegielan
Resources Mentioned:
Michelle’s 21-Day Happiness Challenge, Success Scale Questionnaire, & Response to Stress Resource
Her Book, Broadcasting Happiness: The Science of Igniting and Sustaining Positive Change
Kathy’s Forbes Blog with Michelle Gielan, Think You Can’t Change Others Or Increase Their Happiness? You Can, And Here’s How
Kathy’s Forbes post on How To Stop Staying ‘I’m Sorry’ When You’re Not (And Why You Need To)
Episode 39: How to Leverage Technology to Increase Your Happiness with Amy Blankson
Shawn Achor’s Website
QUOTES:
“Those little words that we utter, both to ourselves and to other people, have huge implications over the world that we create.” [4:29]
“We see research that shows that through small, simple habits, we can train our brain to be more optimistic. We can change it at any time.” [9:48]
“You are a broadcaster and the words you use as you move throughout your day influence other people, and they influence your own action.” [13:02]
“I personally get my news predominantly online, in text form as opposed to video, because I feel like it gives us more control over it.” [24:28]
“Social support is the greatest predictor of long-term levels of happiness that we have in the research we do.” [25:46]
I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave
Watch the video of this episode!
Now you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my YouTube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show!
