Episode 117: How Good Leaders Fall: The Role Of Arrogance In Leadership Failure, with John Havlik

Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Podcasts in Careers!

“You’ve always got to keep your mind open, your mental aperture, because if you think you know it all there’s a good inclination that hubris is right around the corner knocking on your door, and ready to come strike you down.” – John Havlik

Being an effective leader today is much more than having the ability to make decisions, and often it is the hubris or arrogance of the leader that is holding him or her back from connecting with others in a way that makes people feel heard, trusted and valued. Today’s Finding Brave guest shares his deep personal insights and experiences from a distinguished career as a leader, and focuses on helping others from falling into this all-too-common trap of letting their arrogance crush their impact, reputation and their ability to lead. 

CAPT John “Coach” Havlik, USN (Ret), retired from the Navy in 2014 after 31 years of distinguished service in the Naval Special Warfare (SEAL) community. He has served on all SEAL teams on both coasts, including the famed SEAL Team SIX.

Coach Havlik is a Special Advisor to Giant Leap Consulting and regularly speaks about leadership and working as a team under arduous and stressful conditions. Along with Bill Treasurer, John co-authored The Leadership Killer: Reclaiming Humility in an Age of Arrogance.

What John reveals in this episode is critical information that needs to be heard today. If you think you have to know everything (or believe you already do know everything) in order to lead others, you don’t understand what true leadership is and this episode will benefit you greatly. 

Highlights from this Episode:

  • What John and Bill Treasurer were seeing in leadership that led to them writing their book together [4:26]

  • How hubris and arrogance are related, and why John feels people take on these traits [9:07]

  • The reasons that being a good leader is more than just making decisions [11:23]

  • What to consider when leading introverts, and the coaching lessons that John has learned along his journey [13:33]

  • A time that he believes got too arrogant, and what happened as a result [15:48]

  • What John means when he says everyone should “have a check”, plus what it looks like to put one in place [22:34]

  • Why mental aperture is so important to have for any leader, or inspiring leader [31:30]

  • Why good leaders don’t need to know everything [32:43]

For More Information: 

https://www.coachhavlik.com/

https://twitter.com/coachhavlik

https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-r-havlik/ 

Resources Mentioned: 

John’s Book, The Leadership Killer: Reclaiming Humility in an Age of Arrogance & Audible Version

Kathy & John’s Forbes Blog, One Common Personality Trait That Crushes Leadership Success, Value And Reputation

Episode 7: Overcoming Your Biggest Blocks to Courage, with Bill Treasurer

Kathy’s Forbes Post, I’m Sick Of Our Culture’s Bias Against Introverts — And I’m Ashamed To Admit I Share In It

Quiet Revolution (Susan Cain)

For more about Kathy’s upcoming book The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths To Career Bliss, sign up for her weekly newsletter at https://kathycaprino.com for updates, free giveaways, contests, and more, coming in Spring 2020. And to discover if you are experiencing any of the 7 damaging power gaps today, take Kathy’s Power Gap Survey and find out!                                                                                                                                                                                         

Become a Sponsor!

If you are interested in becoming a sponsor of Finding Brave, we’d love to hear from you! Please write to info@kathycaprino.com with your proposal and for more information.

QUOTES: 

“I think for leaders and athletes, in order to be good you have to be confident in your abilities, but I think hubris takes it to the next level. It tends to cloud your judgment.” [6:55]

“Good leaders know how to incorporate and make people feel like they’re part of the process.” [12:04]

“I quickly found out that the biggest, strongest and fastest don’t always get promoted. It’s often who you knew, and I didn’t do real well at that.” [16:36]

“I didn’t have a mentor, and I tried to do it alone. I tried to manage my career alone, which is not very smart.” [19:56]

“I think people are afraid to have somebody that calls them out, especially if you’re doing well and successful.” [23:47]

“Part of the thing I learned was how much I didn’t know.” [31:33]

Sponsor Highlight!  

I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave

Watch the video of this episode!
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Episode 116: How To Manage Our Depression and Anxiety in Fearful Times, with Dr. Gregory Jantz

Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Podcasts in Careers!

“We have to decide where we’re going to anchor ourselves, and I think we all need three to five really great and positive relationships with people that will tell us the truth. We can really be empowered by each other right now.” – Dr. Gregory Jantz

During times of uncertainty like these today, we see an increase in stress,  fear, and anxiety, but the good news is that depression and anxiety are treatable and there are key steps we can take today to help ourselves not just survive, but thrive through change. A whole-person approach to care – mind, body, and soul – has proven to produce lasting results, and today’s Finding Brave guest has made it his mission to improve the lives of others with this focus and approach. 

Dr. Gregory Jantz is a bestselling author, psychologist, and the founder of The Center: A Place of Hope, where he treats people suffering from anxiety, depression, PTSD, addiction, eating disorders and more. Dr. Jantz’s latest book, Healing Depression for Life: The Personalized Approach That Offers New Hope for Lasting Relief is on shelves now.

It goes without saying that this current pandemic has presented challenges we’ve all felt unequipped for, but we’re all doing our best to navigate through this together. I do hope the content we’re offering here today, along with new material in future weeks, will help you on your individual journeys and our collective one. 

Thank you so much for listening, and please do reach out to me at info@kathycaprino.com if I can be of any help to you. I’d love to hear any ideas for topics and issues that you’d like this show to cover right now, to help you and your communities. 

Here’s to finding brave together, and I’m sending all best wishes for health, safety and peace for you and your loved ones.

Highlights from this Episode:

  • Where to begin in dealing with our own fears, especially at times like these that are ever-evolving [4:37]

  • The effect that consuming negative news can have on our well-being, and what we can do to make life better not only for ourselves, but for the people around us [8:08]

  • What not to do when we are feeling down, and simple habits we can implement to ensure destructive behaviors don’t take hold of us [11:33]

  • The ways that social distancing differs from isolation, and why this distinction is so important [17:45]

  • The role that each of our priorities will play in our lives, especially right now [19:15]

  • How we can be using technology to take advantage of opportunities that still exist to maintain strong relationships with others [22:47]

  • How Dr. Jantz and his team help others on a daily basis, and what he says is needed for the long-term success of the people they work with [28:09]

For More Information: 

https://www.drgregoryjantz.com/

https://aplaceofhope.com 

https://www.facebook.com/DrGregoryJantz

https://twitter.com/GregoryJantzPhD

 Resources Mentioned: 

Gregory’s Latest Book, Healing Depression for Life:The Personalized Approach That Offers New Hope for Lasting Relief (on Audible) & All Of His Other Works

Kathy’s Amazing Career Project

Episode 49: Speaking Brave – How Your Words Create Your Reality and Your Happiness, with Michelle Gielan

5 Happiness Hacks from Shawn Achor 

For more about Kathy’s upcoming book The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths To Career Bliss, sign up for her weekly newsletter at https://kathycaprino.com for updates, free giveaways, contests, and more, coming in Spring 2020. And to discover if you are experiencing any of the 7 damaging power gaps today, take Kathy’s Power Gap Survey and find out!                                                                                                                                                                                         

Become a Sponsor!

If you are interested in becoming a sponsor of Finding Brave, we’d love to hear from you! Please write to info@kathycaprino.com with your proposal and for more information.

QUOTES: 

“When we get to a place of panic, panic breeds panic and people run in herds.” [4:39]

“We don’t want to do social isolation, because the more that we’re isolated socially, the more that we’re probably going to move over to self-destructive behaviors.” [11:51]

“We need to be giving each other a lot of grace right now, so give each other grace versus increased conflict.” [19:38]

“If we get so self-absorbed with all the anxiety in all of our own stuff, then we’re not seeing the needs of others.” [21:04]

“With self-care, don’t feel guilty. We need to take care of ourselves, because there’s somebody that’s going to need you today.” [26:37]

“I think our greatest long-term success is when we’re willing to look at the whole person, and discovering all the different pieces of the puzzle, and putting them together.” [28:09]

Sponsor Highlight!  

I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave

Watch the video of this episode!
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How To Reduce Damaging Conflict In Your Life, Work And Relationships

Part of the series “Accessing the Most Powerful You”

As we all know, some degree of conflict in our work and personal relationships is unavoidable. Human beings are organisms with very different values, upbringings beliefs, mindsets and approaches to achieving their goals. And living and working together inevitably generates disagreements in how we see life and the challenges in front of us, and the ways we wish to achieve our goals and visions. But some people seem to have a special ability to manage conflict in ways that create avenues for collaboration and success, while others do the opposite—they escalate and exacerbate conflict so it becomes more destructive and demoralizing.

To learn more about this important topic, I was excited to catch up with Dr. Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler, an expert in helping teams and organizations experience conflict resolution and freedom. Goldman-Wetzler is founder and CEO of Alignment Strategies Group, the premier New York-based consulting firm that counsels CEOs and their executive teams on how to optimize organizational health and growth.

Author of the new book Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life, Goldman-Wetzler is a keynote speaker at Fortune 500 companies, public institutions and innovative, fast-growing startups, where she inspires audiences of all kinds, including those at Google, Harvard and TEDx, and in her popular course at Columbia University.

A former counter-terrorism research fellow with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, she is a graduate of Tufts University and holds a Ph.D. in Social-Organizational Psychology from Columbia University. In her book, Goldman-Wetzler shares that, in order to free ourselves from recurring conflict, we have to break the pattern of the conflict loop by doing something different from what we’ve been doing in the past.

Here’s what she shares:

Kathy Caprino: What’s the number one mistake people make when faced with a conflict?

Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler: The number one mistake people make when faced with conflict is dealing with a situation the same way we have before, yet expecting a different result. In my work and book, I identify four common conflict habits that get us into trouble: blaming others, blaming ourselves, avoiding others, and relentlessly trying to collaborate even when others refuse to cooperate. We engage in these habits with the best of intentions. We goodnaturedly want to learn from our experiences, or stay focused on what really matters, or achieve “win-win” solutions. But when we habitually rely on these strategies regardless of whether they’re appropriate for the particular situations we face, they become overused and of limited use over time.

Rather than dealing with conflict based on habitual reflexes, the Optimal Outcomes practices help us notice how we’ve been operating, and learn how to take different actions to achieve the results we seek.

Caprino: What drew you to work that specializes in conflict?

Goldman-Wetzler: I was drawn to a career specializing in conflict from a very young age, way before I even knew it was possible to formally work in this area.

My father’s parents escaped Nazi Europe, tragically leaving behind family they’d never see again. This came with the emotional and psychological baggage you’d expect: lifelong fear and grief. Like many immigrants of their generation, my grandparents never had access to professional counselors or therapists to help them process their emotions. Instead, their pain sometimes came out in unhelpful ways; in my grandfather’s case, in bursts of anger and rage.

On the other side of my family, my maternal grandmother was the quintessential “conflict whisperer.” Every Sunday, my grandmother, parents, brother and I would drive from our apartment in the Bronx to the Connecticut suburbs to visit my aunt and uncle. When screaming and yelling inevitably broke out in the car, my grandmother would stop the bickering. She’d simply whisper “Sha, sha, sha,” and then she’d tell us a simple story. Everyone would quiet down. Her very presence and the sound of her voice were enough to soothe our nerves.

Learning to deal with my grandfather’s rage, and through my grandmother’s example, I naturally became the “conflict whisperer” of my family, too. I eventually made it a formal career path.

Caprino: Why do so many people get stuck in what you call a “conflict loop?”

Goldman-Wetzler: Half a century of research has shown that conflict is naturally cyclical. Conflict begets conflict. It’s the nature of the beast.

We get stuck in conflict loops when our conflict habits interact with other people’s conflict habits, forming a pattern of interaction that becomes very hard to break. The conflict loop is self-reinforcing. Unless we introduce something different—what I call “pattern-breaking action”—the loop will continue to go around and around.

But we can identify and revise the conflict habits—our own, and others’—that create a pattern. Using these specific practices helps us think about situations from a different point of view, and take new actions to create breaks in the pattern so we can ultimately free ourselves from the loop entirely.

Caprino: You place a priority on conflict freedom over conflict resolution. Would you clarify the difference?

Goldman-Wetzler: Conflict resolution says that conflicts can be resolved by meeting our own and others’ interests in ways that allow all parties to win. But some conflicts are what I call “resolution-resistant.” No matter how many times we or others try to resolve these conflicts, even using “win-win” principled negotiation methodologies that have been successfully used in complex cases over the past 40 years, the conflict remains.

Conflict freedom is helpful in those cases where conflict resolution doesn’t work. Conflict freedom helps us stop trying to resolve something that has shown itself to be unresolvable. Instead, it shows us how to free ourselves from the mindsets, emotions and behaviors that have gotten us stuck. It helps us achieve optimal outcomes—those that take into account our imagined best-case scenario and the reality of the constraints we face. Optimal outcomes are often different from what we thought we wanted, but more satisfying than we ever imagined possible.

Caprino: What’s wrong with always striving for “win-win” solutions?

Goldman-Wetzler: Striving for “win-win” solutions is often a great thing to do. The problem happens when we always strive for them, regardless of whether our efforts are getting us the results we desire. Seeking to achieve “win-win” solutions when we’re dealing with people who refuse to cooperate, or who are simply not interested in doing so, can be a waste of time, energy, money and resources that could be better spent elsewhere. Brainstorming option after option with others who are not interested in them doesn’t resolve conflict. It just keeps us stuck, unable to move forward.

Caprino: Where and how can anyone struggling with recurring conflict begin to identify the unconscious habits that create destructive conflict patterns?

Goldman-Wetzler: To identify your conflict habits, you don’t need to do anything at all. You only need to stop and observe. It can help to take a pause; in other words, a moment to notice whatever is happening inside yourself and in the world around you.

I’ve identified two types of pauses: a proactive pause and a reactive pause. A proactive pause is when you plan to take a few minutes out of your day to stop and reflect, in this case, on your conflict habits. For example, a proactive pause might involve sitting quietly and asking yourself whether you’ve been blaming or avoiding others, blaming yourself, or seeking to collaborate with others.

A reactive pause is when you take a moment to notice what’s happening while it’s happening. You might catch yourself yelling at your kids, stewing in negative self-talk, or making yet another collaborative overture even though others are not responding in kind. It might feel as though you’re watching yourself in slow-motion on a movie screen, or looking down on yourself from above. This may feel good, or it may feel frustrating, as you watch yourself use your habit and get stuck in conflict. But the good news is that observing how you get stuck is the first step to becoming free.

It is helpful to identify your own and others’ conflict habits, and how those form patterns of interaction that keep you stuck. I’ve developed a free assessment you can take online to identify your primary conflict habit.

Caprino: Why isn’t simply walking away from a conflict, or ending a relationship, necessarily the best way to break free from recurring conflict?

Goldman-Wetzler: Sometimes walking away is the way to break free from conflict. Especially for those of us who are habitually collaborative, walking away can help us break free from a tough situation—because it represents doing something different than we’ve done before. It breaks the conflict pattern.

But much more often, the costs of walking away are so high that it seems nearly impossible to do so. For example, imagine the costs of never talking to your mother again, or of disowning your child. Or the costs of firing your best friend. You’re not going to be free from conflict if you’re living with regret, guilt, sadness or pain.

Walking away won’t help if we realize (either consciously or not) that the costs of walking away will cause yet another set of challenges, or we intuitively know that if we don’t develop the courage to deal with this situation now, it will only show up again in another relationship down the line.

Dealing directly with a conflict situation—rather than walking away—often takes a great dose of courage. It takes a willingness to be uncomfortable trying new ways of viewing things and new ways of operating. But when we do, the outcome can be better than we ever anticipated.

For more information, visit Optimal Outcomes.

To build a more conflict-free and rewarding career, join Kathy Caprino in a Career Breakthrough program and join her Amazing Career Project online course. 


Episode 115: How Your Intentional Energetic Presence Boosts Your Impact, with Anese Cavanaugh

Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Podcasts in Careers!

“My heart was in self-care as a leader, and how a manager was managing their energy and taking care of themselves. I feel like if that’s handled, everything else gets handled, but if we’re burnt out and fried, we can’t lead.” – Anese Cavanaugh

Our presence is our impact, and the way that we show up energetically on a daily basis really does matter. Today’s Finding Brave guest reveals that we do indeed have a choice, and hold the power, for how we want to craft our life and impact.

Anese Cavanaugh is devoted to helping people show up and bring their best selves to the table in order to create significant positive impact in their lives. She is the creator of the IEP Method® (Intentional Energetic Presence®), an advisor and thinking partner to leaders and organizations around the world, a keynote speaker, and author of Contagious Culture: Show Up, Set the Tone, and Intentionally Create an Organization That Thrives, Contagious You: Unlock Your Power to Influence, Lead, and Create the Impact You Want, and The Leader You Will Be: An Invitation (a leadership storybook).

In this episode, Anese shares how our energy is truly contagious, so the more we can be aware and focus on our own energetic state, the more we can positively impact others, which is a tremendous superpower to possess. 

Highlights from this Episode:

  • What initially made Anese want to focus on the subject of intentional presence, and what she felt at a young age that made her question everything [4:15]

  • How to tell when we’re out of alignment, plus the significant issues that can arise when we are in this state [8:46]

  • The way that Anese literally created her dream job and began her work with leaders [10:25]

  • The biggest challenges that she feels other leadership books aren’t addressing [16:47]

  • What her IEP Method is about, including the three levels in the model [20:27]

  • What to do if you are faced with having a manager or leader with poor energy, and why awareness is so important for everyone involved [24:55]

  • Why the simple act of deep breathing is an act of self-love [27:04]

  • What she means by “relational energy” and the benefits of being more aware of it [30:30]

  • How to start choosing to be the “author” or your life, rather than a victim [33:56]

  • The steps we can take today to become intentionally and authentically contagious [38:09]

  • Why it’s a good idea for each of us to pay attention to cues such as contraction and our mental dialogue [41:10]

For More Information: 

https://www.anesecavanaugh.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/anesecavanaugh/

https://twitter.com/anesecavanaugh 

https://www.instagram.com/anesecavanaugh/

https://www.facebook.com/anesecavanaugh

https://www.facebook.com/IEPMethod/

 Resources Mentioned: 

Anese’s Books & IEP Resources

#ProjectImpeccable 60-day Virtual Program (Use Coupon “IEP50” for $50 off through 4/2/2020)

IEP-Activator Program Online Toolkit (Use Coupon “FINDINGBRAVE” for $500 off through 4/2/2020)

Her Clients & Testimonials

Three Deep Breaths: Finding Power and Purpose in a Stressed-Out World by Thomas Crum

For more about Kathy’s upcoming book The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths To Career Bliss, sign up for her weekly newsletter at https://kathycaprino.com for updates, free giveaways, contests, and more, coming in Spring 2020. And to discover if you are experiencing any of the 7 damaging power gaps today, take Kathy’s Power Gap Survey and find out!                                                                                                                                                                                         

Become a Sponsor!

If you are interested in becoming a sponsor of Finding Brave, we’d love to hear from you! Please write to info@kathycaprino.com with your proposal and for more information.

QUOTES: 

“I think the joy of this work is there’s not a minute that goes by that we’re not learning from the people around us.” [1:41]

“The thing to be looking at is the energy that we’re putting out, and then think about how we are taking care of that energy.” [17:09]

“I have a special gratitude for looking at the gap, because that’s the thing that people are so afraid to go to, and it’s where the power is.” [20:11]

“We’re always a breath away from expansion.” [25:27]

“If you can connect with your intention, then everything else becomes easier. Courage becomes easier, service becomes easier and love becomes easier, because you’re connected to your intention and to your breath.” [28:38]

“The more awareness I have around the relational energy, the more choice I have to decide if I’m going to complete the relationship, if I’m going to fix it, if I’m going to nourish it, or whatever I’m going to do.” [31:08]

“It is an act of discipline to notice when we are not present, and then to reboot.” [38:44]

“I think we kind of have to dare to let things suck sometimes.” [44:16]

Sponsor Highlight!  

I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave

Watch the video of this episode!
Now you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my Youtube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show! 


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If You’re Engaging In Any Of These Actions, You Shouldn’t Be A Manager

Part of the series “Supporting Today’s Workforce”

Virtually every single week of the year, I hear from at least one professional from around the globe who needs guidance about one deeply challenging problem at work, and that is a toxic or disrespectful boss who is in some obvious and irrefutable way treating their staff in demeaning and demoralizing ways.

The tales of cruel and unacceptable forms of managerial behavior and communication are endless, and it’s a wonder why these managers are allowed to stay in their jobs or aren’t fired on the spot.

Why aren’t these individuals removed or given remedial training? Often it’s because many of these managers are high producers and the organization doesn’t want to address the problem for fear they’ll leave. Another reason is that the organization doesn’t care enough to do something proactive about the issue, or they don’t have their finger on the pulse of the true feelings and levels of engagement of their workforce to understand the situation needs addressing. And in many cases, the organization and its leaders and HR managers simply don’t know what to do to change it. In short, thousands of organizations simply haven’t a clue as to how to ensure employees are being treated with respect and fairness, or as highly valued contributors.

Several years ago, I wrote a post on LinkedIn titled 6 Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away: How To Recognize Them In Yourself and Change Them. To my surprise, it quickly went viral (3+ million views) and thousands of people commented privately and publicly, sharing that they finally recognized the toxicity of their own behavior and were ready to address it. To me, that was very inspiring—that people of all walks of life and at all levels of organization hierarchies were able to muster the courage to finally see how they were negatively impacting those around them , and decided it was time to change.

If more managers engaged in this exercise, the working world would transform overnight. And levels of engagement in the workforce would dramatically rise. Research has revealed that one potent reason people quit their jobs is feeling disrespected—believing that the boss or the organization doesn’t care about them at all.

Based on research I’ve read, and the information I’ve gathered working with thousands of professionals about what makes them want to leave their jobs (and what contributes to the real health and emotional risks of working under a toxic boss and how toxicity spills over into other areas of our lives), below are the 6 management behaviors that need to stop.

If you’re engaged in any of these in your approach as a manager, it’s time to take stock and make significant change before more damage is done.

The six damaging managerial behaviors to address are:

Demeaning and ridiculing your employees publicly or privately

If you put your employees down and ridicule them in any way for their behavior, ideas, communication or other traits—even if you think you’re just being “funny”— you’re not managing people, you’re hurting them. Get some help to transform your communication style from cutting and hurtful, to helpful and encouraging.

Suppressing or not allowing questions to be asked that employees need to, to do their jobs

When people are working on projects, presentations, program execution, administration, etc., all sorts of questions come up, especially for those who are new and just learning the ropes. Employees’ questions need to be addressed as fully and openly as possible. If you suppress questions, refuse to answer them, or make your employees feel humiliated for posing a question, you need to revise your thinking about what it signifies when someone asks a question. It’s not necessarily ignorance or laziness when people offer a query or inquiry. If there are questions you feel shouldn’t need to be be asked, give some guidance and context about why, and fill in any gaps in their understanding so they can do their jobs effectively.

Making employees feel “stupid,” inadequate, or inferior when they struggle or don’t meet expectations

If you’ve ever read a psychology book, you know that when people are shamed, they go underground with their thoughts and feelings. It sucks the energy, confidence and enthusiasm out of them, as they feel the need to preserve their ego and avoid getting hurt in the future. Shaming someone and trying to make them feel stupid or inferior when they’re struggling will get you absolutely nowhere. Or more accurately, it will make you lose the best work and contributions your employees have to give because they’ll experience you as someone who is not safe or trustworthy.

Refusing to make regular time to meet with your employees and give them the constructive guidance, training and feedback they need

Part of the job of any good manager is meeting with your staff and offering constructive feedback, training and information to support their growth. If you say you’re too busy to have regular meetings with your staff members, or don’t understand the value of continuous feedback and support, you are crippling your employees and preventing them from reaching their highest potential. Share your institutional knowledge with them and be the mentor and sponsor they need to have, to thrive.

Blaming your employees for under-performance when you’re actually responsible

Managers who blame their employees for less-than-stellar performance, and managers who won’t take accountability for what happens in their groups, are weak and destructive. Don’t blame the people beneath you for what isn’t going well. Step up and take responsibility. You’re in charge and blame will only push people farther away.

Not eliciting regular feedback from your employees and asking them for (and listening to) their candid feedback on how you’re doing as a manager, and what could be improved

Finally, managing isn’t a one-way street. You’re only as good in your managerial role as how the people who report to you perceive you to be. If you are siloed off and not asking for feedback on your management approach, you’re simply not getting the full picture you need to become the successful, growth-oriented manager you need to be. Regularly ask for feedback about your approach and how you can improve it to help your employees do their best work.

* * * * *

It’s not difficult to become a more inspiring and empowering manager, but when you do, the positive results are dramatic. It involves growing in your compassion, understanding, patience, communication skill, and openness to feedback. And it requires more self-awareness and emotional intelligence than many of us currently possess or have ever focused on developing.

But more than all those traits combined, it requires the bravery to admit that you are not perfect in your role as a manager, and the strength to elicit feedback from others about how you can grow. If you don’t actively evolve beyond these behaviors above, your own potential for success and that of others will be greatly diminished because of it.

To get out from under a damaging boss, join Kathy Caprino in her Career Breakthrough coaching program and take her Amazing Career Project online course.


Episode 114: How to Quickly Land Your Best Positioning and Get Noticed, with Jeremy Ryan Slate

Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Podcasts in Careers!

“If you have done something and if you have something unique that you can do, then you deserve to help other people do that. If you haven’t done it, what’s the damn point? You’re just lying to people.” – Jeremy Ryan Slate 

At the age of 19, today’s Finding Brave guest had a near death experience as a routine surgery led him to receive last rites from a priest.  He recovered and graduated with his masters degree into one of the worst job markets in history. He ended up working 16 hour days painting houses and managing a gym. When he landed his “dream job” as a teacher, he quickly realized it was not what he wanted to be doing with his life. That’s when his incredible entrepreneurial journey began, and in this episode he offers the steps and skills that successful entrepreneurs, business people and artists can apply to create life on their own terms.

Jeremy Ryan Slate is the founder of the Create Your Own Life Podcast, a show to help people create life on their own terms at a world-class level. He studied literature at Oxford University, and is a former champion powerlifter turned new media entrepreneur. After his success in podcasting, Jeremy Slate and his wife, Brielle Slate, founded Command Your Brand Media to help entrepreneurs hone their message and impact thousands with the power of storytelling.

Not only is Jeremy’s personal story uplifting, but he provides so many tactical strategies that have helped him and his clients build recognized authority in their own niches. Jeremy’s strategies prove that it pays off to start small and form a solid foundation first in your business, and I’m sure that every listener can take so much value from the content he shares today. 

Highlights from this Episode:

  • The shifts in perspective that Jeremy made after his own near death experience [6:38]

  • How most entrepreneurs today are confusing public relations and marketing, and where positioning comes into play for growing a brand and business [9:10]

  • An example of how Jeremy strengthened his own authority in a big way, and why he recommends others use a similar strategy [11:35]

  • How to know when to give more to your audience, without expecting an ROI [15:28]

  • Why Jeremy isn’t a huge believer in using paid advertising, especially on Facebook, and what he prefers to do instead [17:50]

  • How promoting on LinkedIn has changed, and what’s working best for him right now on that platform [19:50]

  • The changes in positioning that Jeremy made a year ago which has made all the difference, including how he now creates content [22:57]

  • The top three elements they have their clients focus on when attempting to get onto podcasts as guests, and why this methodology works so well [24:16]

  • How to get noticed on a budget and really stand out using his “Small Pond Strategy” [29:49]

  • The most common mistakes he is seeing people make on their websites, plus what not to do when pitching someone [34:50]

For More Information: 

https://www.jeremyryanslate.com/

https://www.facebook.com/jeremy.slate

https://twitter.com/jeremyryanslate 

https://www.instagram.com/jeremyryanslate/ 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-ryan-slate-bb7b284a/

Resources Mentioned: 

Jeremy’s Free White Paper, The 7 Reasons No One Knows You

His Create Your Own Life Podcast & Media Page

105: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying and What We Need To Learn From Them, with Bronnie Ware

Kathy’s First Book, Breakdown, Breakthrough: The Professional Woman’s Guide to Claiming a Life of Passion, Power, and Purpose

Kathy’s Post, 10 Core Questions That Will Tell You If You’re Ready To Become A Thought Leader

Headliner & Canva

How to Write a Press Release (HubSpot Article)

107: DataStory: How To Explain Data and Inspire Action Through Story, with Nancy Duarte

For more about Kathy’s upcoming book The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths To Career Bliss, sign up for her weekly newsletter at https://kathycaprino.com for updates, free giveaways, contests, and more, coming in Spring 2020. And to discover if you are experiencing any of the 7 damaging power gaps today, take Kathy’s Power Gap Survey and find out!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Become a Sponsor!                                                                       

If you are interested in becoming a sponsor of Finding Brave, we’d love to hear from you! Please write to info@kathycaprino.com with your proposal and for more information.

QUOTES: 

“Most business owners don’t understand public relations, and they have a massive confusion between PR and marketing.” [9:11]

“If you talk about your own experience, people see that you’ve made the change and you’ve made the transformation.” [23:20]

“We can’t promote something that is not different. We can’t promote something that is the same as everything else. So first and foremost you have to know who your people are, and we can help you niche down more if you need to figure that out, but how are you different? Differentiation is so important.” [24:00]

“It’s a good idea to think big, but a lot of people think too big out of the gate and they skip their power base.” [29:55]

“The more you know yourself and your own message, and you get your own story and how you deliver it down, the better it is.” [33:35]

“You want to deliver to your people what they need, but you need to be sure enough about your content that you can do that.” [33:57]

“People that are important don’t talk about themselves, other people talk about them.” [36:13]

Sponsor Highlight!  

I’m thrilled that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave

Watch the video of this episode!
Don’t forget – you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my Youtube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show! 

Please share your positive ratings and reviews!
If you love the show, we’d be so very grateful for a positive rating and review on Apple Podcasts! These great ratings help us reach more and more people who are interested in boosting their careers, businesses, and their leadership. Thank you!


OTHER WAYS TO ENJOY THIS POST:

Download on Apple Podcasts

 


Episode 113: 30 Simple Hacks That Will Infuse More Joy and Meaning In Your Job, with Bruce Daisley

Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Podcasts in Careers!

“Ok, can we improve the job that we’re doing by maybe 3 percent? If we improve it by 3 percent, would it feel a little bit better? I think that’s why I’m so thrilled with the feedback that people have sent me.” – Bruce Daisley

Many of us don’t love what we do, and we feel exhausted trying. Overwork, stress, exhaustion, and unhappiness are increasingly becoming the norm for far too many people in the workplace, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Today’s special guest distills the wisdom of experts into 30 simple changes that anyone can try to make work more enjoyable, meaningful, and rewarding for themselves and their teams. 

Bruce Daisley was previously Twitter’s most senior employee outside of the US, in his role of Vice President across Europe, Middle East and Africa. He joined the company in 2012 having previously run YouTube UK at Google. He has also worked in the magazine publishing and radio industries having got his first break by mailing a cartoon resume of his life to prospective employers. Bruce’s passion for improving work led to him creating the podcast Eat Sleep Work Repeat on making work better. It became a number 1 smash in the UK (also hitting the business top 10 in the US), and his Eat Sleep Work Repeat: 30 Hacks For Bringing Joy To Your Job is an international bestseller.

What’s so exciting about what Bruce shares in this episode is that you don’t have to have a managerial title to make a big difference in your organization, and you can start today. Bruce not only provides actionable strategies that you can implement on your own, but he also gives us ways that we can work together as a team with our colleagues that will noticeably improve the culture and work environment for everyone involved.  

Highlights from this Episode:

  • How the work situation Bruce has experienced contributed to his writing this book [5:07]

  • His personal experience with burnout and the ways it can be recognized and addressed as soon as possible [10:51]

  • The observations he’s made about the emotional connections formed in the workplace, and the ways that men and women experience corporate environments differently [13:09]

  • How holding walking meetings can dramatically improve any workplace [20:36]

  • The benefits of approaching change with scientific data as a backup rather than just using opinions [23:36]

  • Why Bruce says that creativity and anxiety live in opposition to each other [27:07]

  • The power of laughter and his best tips for being intentional and finding the time to do it [33:33]

  • What hack Bruce gets the most pushback on and what brain science is saying about this topic [35:32]

  • What’s next for this fascinating guest, and why failure at this stage doesn’t frighten him [42:50]

For More Information: 

https://eatsleepworkrepeat.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/brucedaisley/

https://twitter.com/brucedaisley

Resources Mentioned: 

Bruce’s New Book, Eat Sleep Work Repeat: 30 Hacks for Bringing Joy to Your Job

His Podcast 

Bruce’s Cartoon CV

His Article, Nine Ways to Make Your Work Day Better

Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test (prof. Simon Baron-Cohen)

Dr. Robert Provine’s Books on Laughter

Professor Sophie Scott 

For more about Kathy’s upcoming book The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths To Career Bliss, sign up for her weekly newsletter at https://kathycaprino.com for updates, free giveaways, contests, and more, coming in Spring 2020. And to discover if you are experiencing any of the 7 damaging power gaps today, take Kathy’s Power Gap Survey and find out!   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
Become a Sponsor!

If you are interested in becoming a sponsor of Finding Brave, we’d love to hear from you! Please write to info@kathycaprino.com with your proposal and for more information.

QUOTES: 

“I knew that if I took credit for the good times, then I needed to take responsibility for the bad times.” [8:25]

“Often when times are hard, business leaders and all of us are reluctant to be as honest as we should be about how bad it is.” [9:18]

“Women are generally better at reading the room, and they’ve learned over time that reading the room is a wise way to interact.” [17:29]

“‘We’ve discovered that creativity and anxiety live in opposition to each other.” [27:07]

“Moments of unfocus seem as powerful as moments of focus, and that for me was a revelation.” [42:18]

Sponsor Highlight!  

I’m thrilled that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave

Watch the video of this episode!
Don’t forget – you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my Youtube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show! 

Please share your positive ratings and reviews!
If you love the show, we’d be so very grateful for a positive rating and review on Apple Podcasts! These great ratings help us reach more and more people who are interested in boosting their careers, businesses, and their leadership. Thank you!


OTHER WAYS TO ENJOY THIS POST:

Download on Apple Podcasts

 


The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying And How To Live Differently To Avoid Them

Part of Kathy Caprino’s series “Finding Brave To Build Your Happiest and Best Life and Career”

Each year for my work, I review and study a large amount of material—from blog posts and articles, to research studies, books, papers, TEDx talks and more. Much of it shares important information aimed to help people overcome their challenges and live a happier, more fulfilling life. And a good deal is beneficial for us. But every once in awhile, I come across something that’s even more impactful and life-changing for me than all the rest, that makes me stop in my tracks and think (and rethink) very hard about my own life and how I’m operating in the world, and what I truly want. And even more rarely, I’m moved to actually change how I’m living.

Bronnie Ware’s Regrets of the Dying blog post did that for me. When I first read it, I found it so simple yet so powerful and poignant. It was imbued with critical life lessons that most of us just never seem to heed or understand until it’s too late. After reading it, I was compelled to do some research of my own about The Top Five Regrets of Midlife Professionals, and wrote a now viral post on those regrets and what they mean for me and many of us in midlife.

Six years ago, I lived through watching my beloved and brilliant dad slowly die of cancer that had metastasized throughout his body, and it was a devastating experience for all of us. To see this vibrant man suffer from dementia and cancer and lose everything that had made him who he was in life, and to spend time in an amazing hospice facility that cared for him so beautifully, I saw firsthand what the dying feel and think as they’re nearing the end. I heard the questions he asked me over and over again (forgetting that he had just uttered them a minute before) and I saw what he was most worried about.

Ware’s post grabbed me by the collar and made me want to change some things about how I showed up in life. Her powerful book that followed, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed By the Dearly Departing became an international bestselling memoir, read by over one million people in 32 languages, with a movie in the pipeline. Ware, who lives in northern New South Wales, is also an inspirational speaker and a passionate advocate for simplicity and leaving space to breathe. Her book is a courageous, life-changing memoir inspiring you to embrace your power of choice and the sacredness of time.

I was thrilled to catch up with Ware recently on my podcast Finding Brave, and hear the lessons she personally learned from her years of working with and supporting those who are dying. These are messages that need to be heeded if we’re to live the lives we truly long for and to ensure we come to the end of our time here without painful regret.  Click the image below to listen to that Bronnie’s powerful interview:


Below are some key highlights from Bronnie’s beautiful work, messages and insights: 


Kathy Caprino: 
Bronnie, how did you find yourself compelled to write a book about the top regrets of the dying?

Bronnie Ware: I’d just finished working with dying people for 8 years and had set up a songwriting program in a women’s jail. A music magazine asked me to write an article about it, which inspired me to start a blog. As the regrets of the dying had changed my life so much it was the first thing I was called to write about. More than a million people read the article in its first year (and at least 10 million since).

Some of my patients had asked me to share their learning onward, to ensure others didn’t make the same mistakes. So when I was contacted by an agent to write a book and share more about the regrets, it was an honor to be able to tell the stories more fully. It was only as a memoir showing how the regrets of the dying transformed my own life was I able to fully articulate their power and to make them more relatable.

Most people cannot truly imagine themselves on their deathbed. So giving real life examples of how you can apply the learning now was the most powerful representation of the message I’d been bestowed.

Caprino: What are these top five regrets and how do they keep us from living a happy life?

Ware: They are:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

(Read more about each of these regrets here.)

Caprino: How were these lessons transformative for you personally?

Ware: The regrets of the dying helped me understand how sacred time is. I realized that the pain of breaking through any amount of resistance would never be as heart-wrenching as lying on my deathbed with regrets. This has propelled an ever-expanding habit of courage that has shown me how we are all so much more capable than we realize. We just need the courage to get out of our own way.

The third regret of wishing I’d had the courage to express my feelings has also liberated me enormously. Silence and introversion used to be my coping mechanisms. But unexpressed feelings just eat away inside. Witnessing the pain of this regret on numerous occasions gave me the courage to become as fully honest and open as possible, which has completely changed who I am in the best ways. It has not only brought me a deeper sense of peace and pride in who I am, but has also added immense richness to the quality of relationships I now enjoy both personally and professionally.

Caprino: If you could share what you’ve seen as the one most painful and heart-wrenching regret that the dying have, what would you say it is?

Ware: Wishing you’d live a life true to yourself, not the life other people expected of you.

Whether those other people are family, peers, or society, makes no difference. The utter heartache of dying with that regret, because you didn’t bring enough courage to the choices you made, is a painful way to end your life.

Witnessing this regret on repeated occasions, in people from all walks of life, was powerful beyond measure. To grasp that you made the wrong choices (or didn’t bring enough awareness or courage to the choices you did make) and then be too ill to do anything about them, is a shockingly difficult realization to accept.

Caprino: You talk in your book about how living with harsh judgments of others and ourselves hurts us and keeps us from being happier. What instead can help our hearts and lives be happier and freer and more rewarding?

Ware: By realizing mistakes are a part of life. They are how we learn. None of us are perfect, nor are we meant to be. So the more you understand this, the more patience and compassion you develop for other people and yourself. We’re all just doing the best we can with individual gifts to contribute to the whole picture. There is no set formula for how you have to live your life.

When you stop using the successes or failures of others as a gauge, you set yourself free to live how it makes the most sense to your own heart. We are all different and the more you embrace those differences free of judgment, the more your own heart feels confident to be heard and honored. It is tempting to try and ignore it by thinking you need to know all the answers straight away. But when you find the courage to let go of living a life not true to your own heart, you naturally become kinder to others too as you recognize their own struggles.

Caprino: You also mention that, “What if we gave ourselves permissions to have courage, to feel safe to express our feelings, and to go to where our heart guides us, with vulnerability and bravery?” Can you say more about how that would transform our lives for the better?

Ware: The braver we are to be ourselves the more we permit others to do the same.

While some of our individual talents may be similar to others, our expression and delivery of those vary. We all respond differently, too. So the more real you are in your expression of self, the more chance people have of connecting with someone specific (you), rather than a standard theme or delivery of a message.

Vulnerability and so-called “failure” should be supported not discouraged. How do you know what does work if you don’t know what doesn’t? It is only through mistakes we learn. So the more we can support others to have a go, knowing they will only be encouraged not judged, the more confident they become to push through further resistance bringing them ever-closer to their own potential.

Rather than seeing people as fools for having a go and failing, we can look at them with admiration for their courage and wait with joyful anticipation to see what their next attempt will be, since it will come with the wisdom of past learning.

Caprino: In the end, what is the most compelling message you’d like to share with us, based on your work with the dying?

Ware: Life is sacred. Bring as much consciousness to the choices you make on a daily basis. Take courageous action. And know you truly are worthy of joy.

For more information, visit bronnieware.com and Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

To learn more about how you can live and work without regret, join Kathy’s Breakthrough programs and her Amazing Career Project 16-week course. And stay tuned for Kathy’s new book The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths to Career Bliss, coming July 2020 from HarperCollins Leadership.


Episode 112: How To Free Yourself from Conflict In Work, Home and Life, with Dr. Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler

Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Podcasts in Careers!

“The problem is when we’re wishing that a situation or another person would change, and the reality is that they’re not going to, we can wish until the cows come home and it’s not going to make a single iota of difference.” – Dr. Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler

Every single person experiences conflict with others at certain points in his or her life, and although it isn’t entirely avoidable, it is possible to free oneself from recurring conflict. Today’s Finding Brave guest reveals how we can start to do this, even without the cooperation of the other party, by sharing what do when it seems like all previous efforts to resolve the conflict have failed.

Dr. Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler is founder and CEO of Alignment Strategies Group, the premier New York-based consulting firm that counsels CEOs and their executive teams on how to optimize organizational health and growth.

Author of the new book Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life, she is a keynote speaker at Fortune 500 companies, public institutions and innovative, fast-growing startups, where she inspires audiences of all kinds, including those at Google, Harvard and TEDx, and in her popular course at Columbia.

A former counterterrorism research fellow with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, she is a graduate of Tufts University and holds a Ph.D. in Social-Organizational Psychology from Columbia University. 

In order to free yourself from recurring conflict, you have to break the pattern of the conflict loop by doing something different from what you’ve been doing in the past. The actionable strategies Jennifer presents during the conversation, as well as in her new book, will help people in all different situations at work and home free themselves from conflict and achieve the optimal outcomes that they desire. 

Highlights from this Episode:

  • The way that Jennifer leverages all of her expertise and past experiences to help others resolve the conflicts that they’re facing [3:32]

  • The process she uses to do this, and the very first step she’s trained to take to move towards conflict resolution [4:52]

  • How conflict resolution differs from being “conflict free,” and the main message she wants readers to take from her book [7:53]

  • The personal reasons that Jennifer has dedicated her life to this work around conflict resolution [11:18]

  • What we can all do today if faced with conflict in the workplace, specifically when dealing with someone who has narcissistic tendencies [16:01]

  • Jennifer’s powerful “cost versus benefits” exercise that will reframe the way you approach conflict in your life [21:50]

  • The 3 main things we all want when stuck in conflict, and 4 different conflict habits that exist [25:42]

  • How and why we each take on a certain habit when faced with conflict [30:22]

  • The role that our values play and why our “shadow values” have such an impact on our relationships [32:40]

For More Information: 

http://alignmentstrategiesgroup.com/

https://jengoldmanwetzler.com/

https://twitter.com/JGoldmanWetzler

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jen-goldman-wetzler/

https://www.instagram.com/goldmanwetzler/

https://www.facebook.com/alignmentstrategiesgroup

Resources Mentioned: 

Jennifer’s New Book, Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life

Book launch party at the Strand Bookstore in NYC on Thursday, February 27, 2020 at 7:30 pm 

Lower Manhattan Headquarters Book Talk in NYC on Wednesday, March 11, 2020 at 6:30 pm

Roundtable Event at Mediation Works Incorporated in downtown Boston on Wednesday, March 18 at 2 pm 

Take Jennifer’s Optimal Outcomes Assessments

Her TEDx Talk, Free Yourself When Conflict Resolution Fails

Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William Ury

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patten & Sheila Heen

For more about Kathy’s upcoming book The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths To Career Bliss, sign up for her weekly newsletter at https://kathycaprino.com for updates, free giveaways, contests, and more, coming in Spring 2020. And to discover if you are experiencing any of the 7 damaging power gaps today, take Kathy’s Power Gap Survey and find out!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Become a Sponsor!

If you are interested in becoming a sponsor of Finding Brave, we’d love to hear from you! Please write to info@kathycaprino.com with your proposal and for more information.

QUOTES: 

“If you take a systems approach to family dynamics, those are very similar to any kind of group dynamics at work that you’ll likely come across in organizational settings.” [3:50]

“I think the first key is to recognize that conflict is part of being human. We cannot be human, and we cannot live on this planet, without experiencing some conflict at one point or another in our lives.” [8:08]

“The beauty of becoming free from conflict is that it doesn’t necessarily require a conversation or cooperation with someone else. What it does require is courage, and being brave to look inside of yourself and ask yourself a whole series of questions.” [17:00]

“Sometimes we stay stuck in those situations thinking about all the benefits, and we don’t get present to all the costs that we’re paying.” [22:27]

Sponsor Highlight!  

I’m thrilled that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave

Watch the video of this episode!
Don’t forget – you can experience each Finding Brave episode in both audio and video formats! Check out new and recent episodes on my Youtube channel at YouTube.com/kathycaprino. And please leave us a comment and a thumbs up if you like the show! 

Please share your positive ratings and reviews!
If you love the show, we’d be so very grateful for a positive rating and review on Apple Podcasts! These great ratings help us reach more and more people who are interested in boosting their careers, businesses, and their leadership. Thank you!


OTHER WAYS TO ENJOY THIS POST:

Download on Apple Podcasts

 


Episode 111: How Building Relationships Helps Your Business Grow, with Shama Hyder

 

Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Podcasts in Careers!

“It’s relationships, right? How do we build relationships with prospective employees, with the media, with our prospective business owners? A lot of it starts with understanding your narrative, and the story you’re telling.” – Shama Hyder

In today’s business world, your reputation precedes you, and 60% of B2B (business to business) prospects have already made a decision before they reach out to your company. If you are applying for a job, your employer has already formed an impression based on your resume and your social profiles, so the question is how do you put your best foot forward? Today’s Finding Brave guest is a true expert in marketing and someone who truly understands the importance of building relationships, which is what she shares with us today. 

Shama Hyder has built her business from a scrappy startup to an industry-leading agency, distinguished herself as an international marketing luminary, delivered keynotes to packed houses in more than 20 countries, and written a couple of bestselling books while she was at it. But it’s her nose for innovation that makes her the figure that CMOs seek out in droves to build their brand’s reputation, increase their market share, and deliver bottom-line results. 

As the acclaimed author of The Zen of Social Media Marketing, now in its 4th edition and Momentum: How to Propel Your Marketing and Transform Your Brand in the Digital Age, Shama has supported the growth of many of the most recognized brands.

As a result of her success, Shama has been the recipient of numerous awards, including the prestigious Technology Titan Emerging Company CEO award. She was named one of the “Top 25 Entrepreneurs under 25” by Business Week in 2009, one of the “Top 30 Under 30” Entrepreneurs in America by Inc. Magazine, and to the Forbes “30 Under 30” list of movers and shakers. 

LinkedIn has named Shama as one of their “Top Voices” in Marketing & Social Media for four years running. Her online videos were awarded the “Hermes Gold award for Educational Programming in Electronic Media,” and most recently, she was honored with the “Global Empowerment award for Marketing and Technology” by Anokhi Media.

In this episode, Shama reveals how every business problem is at its core a relationship problem, and how to address that problem. Brands will matter more than ever in 2020 and beyond, and it’s only by building effective relationships that companies will truly succeed. 

Highlights from this Episode:

  • The key factors that allowed Shama to make such a big impact on the world at such a young age [6:48]

  • The story behind her first book and why she wanted to write it to bring it to the masses [9:33]

  • What gave Shama the confidence at age 22 to pursue her dreams and the invaluable lessons she was taught by her parents [11:36]

  • Why she says that she’s always been “an editor” and the reasons that she doesn’t chase perfection [15:33]

  • The three groups of people that Shama is dedicated to serving, and the one big question she asks herself before creating anything new [16:23]

  • Where brands are going wrong today, plus what the focus on getting attention is really costing us [22:18]

  • The ways in which B2B relationships differ from those in B2C [24:17]

  • Shama’s “BOD” framework and how it can be applied to any business [26:23]

  • Why differentiation is so powerful, but almost everyone struggles with it [30:09]

  • How a company can begin to fix perceptions in the marketplace, and as a result, the relationships they have with others [31:39]

For More Information:

https://zenmedia.com/ 

http://shamahyder.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/shamahyder/

https://twitter.com/shama

https://www.instagram.com/shamahyder 

https://www.facebook.com/ShamaHyderPage/

Resources Mentioned: 

Shama’s Books, The Zen of Social Media Marketing: An Easier Way to Build Credibility, Generate Buzz, and Increase Revenue & Momentum: How to Propel Your Marketing and Transform Your Brand in the Digital Age

Download Her Free B2B Manifesto & Read Client Case Studies

Shama’s Appearance on The Best Work/Best Life Podcast

Sign Up For Take 5 with Shama

Forbes8

Blue Ocean Strategy: How to Create Uncontested Market Space and Make Competition Irrelevant by W.Chan Kim & Renee Mauborgne

For more about Kathy’s upcoming book The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths To Career Bliss, sign up for her weekly newsletter at https://kathycaprino.com for updates, free giveaways, contests, and more, coming in Spring 2020. And to discover if you are experiencing any of the 7 damaging power gaps today, take Kathy’s Power Gap Survey and find out!      

Become a Sponsor!

If you are interested in becoming a sponsor of Finding Brave, we’d love to hear from you! Please write to info@kathycaprino.com with your proposal and for more information.

QUOTES: 

“I never deny the importance of being in the right place at the right time, because it’s absolutely fundamental.” [6:53]

“The gift I think our parents gave my sister and I, which I hope that I can pass on to my son, is that they valued our happiness over anything.” [12:22]

“I’ve always been an editor, and I 100% believe in being one, so I’m not a perfectionist.” [15:33]

“There’s so much I think you learn by watching your parents and how they live their lives.” [21:23]

“When you are selling to another business, it’s not about the attention. It’s much more about aligning with their goals, and much more about building that relationship.” [23:42]

“It’s not the best that gets the business, it’s the one that’s perceived as the best, and those are two different things.” [27:53]

“If you’re not constantly reinventing yourself, your company or your brand, you’re getting left behind.” [30:43]

Sponsor Highlight!  

I’m thrilled that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave

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Sponsor Highlight!  

I’m thrilled to share that Audible.com is a sponsor of Finding Brave! Take advantage of their great special offer of one FREE book of your choice with a 30-day FREE membership trial! And feel free to keep the book even if you cancel the membership. Click here to sign up for your free book! http://www.audibletrial.com/FindingBrave


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