I’m very excited to share our “Editor’s Summer Picks!” series for Finding Brave!
“We all live under patriarchy, which is a rigid dichotomy of gender roles. We all know what that dichotomy is. Traditionally men are supposed to be strong, independent, unemotional, logical and competent. Women are supposed to be expressive, nurturing, weak and dependent, and one of the things I saw about those traditional gender roles is they don’t make anybody happy, and they don’t make for intimacy.” – Terry Real
Bestselling author and nationally renowned couple’s and family therapist Terry Real joins Finding Brave to explore the critical and complex issues at the heart of Gender, Power, and Relationships.
A lecturer for over twenty years, Terry is a member of the senior faculty at the Family Institute of Cambridge and Director of the Gender Relations program at the Meadows Institute in Arizona. His work shares a rigorous yet commonsense approach, and speaks to both men and women powerfully. His ideas on men’s issues and on couple’s therapy have been celebrated in venues from Good Morning America, The Today Show and 20/20, to Oprah and The New York Times.
A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” as described in his book The New Rules of Marriage, Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”
Join us in this raw, emotional and eye-opening discussion that explores:
- The far-reaching and damaging effects of patriarchy for both men and women today
- How men are trained to hate and shun vulnerability and what that does to their ability to live fully, relate with others and connect intimately
- How men can assess with one simple question if their behavior with and to women is appropriate or not
- Ways in which parents can help their children today find wholeness, which is what’s essential for healthy, loving, connected lives
- Why compassion can be more impactful than empathy
- The top three steps to take today to begin to reverse the damage that our gender role training has forced within us
Highlights from this Episode:
- Learning to be a man today can be confusing, but it doesn’t have to be that way [3:36]
- Terry’s definition of “patriarchy” and what each of us can achieve when we get out of it [6:49]
- What is the “halving” process that both men and women have been taught [10:21]
- What is expected of men in today’s society, from a female’s perspective [15:41]
- You can step out of the frame of patriarchy and seize your own empowerment – but how? [21:32]
- A powerful observation of how 9/11 affected gender roles in the country [27:31]
For more information:
Resources mentioned:
Terry’s Book, How Can I Get Through To You
His How’s My Relationship Quiz: http://www.terryreal.com/quiz/
Terry’s Trainings
Kathy’s Forbes Blog with Terry Real
QUOTES:
“Into the mix comes a challenge to traditional masculinity, without a very clear vision of what the next step is.” [4:33]
“The essence of masculinity is contempt for the feminine.” [12:53]
“If there is a powerful figure and a substantially less powerful figure, can there even be consent?” [32:58]
“I think people overuse the word empathy, and what we really mean is compassion.” [36:07]
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