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“What I realized is that everybody we’re with is always trying to communicate something that they’re not communicating with their words. Sometimes they don’t have the words.” – Mark Goulston
At this particular point of time, many of us are experiencing some degree of trauma, but what really happens to a person’s mind as they continue to function through trauma? Today’s Finding Brave guest reveals how we can not just cope, but how we can heal and thrive in the face of the challenging situations that we are experiencing.
Dr. Mark Goulston is a psychiatrist, former UCLA professor, former FBI and police hostage negotiation trainer and the bestselling author or co-author of eight books and with his just released book, Why Cope When You Can Heal? How Healthcare Heroes of Covid-19 Can Recover From PTSD, he introduces an approach called Surgical Empathy that he used for 25 years with suicidal patients and none of them died by suicide. He is also the host of My Wakeup Call, a wonderful podcast I had the honor of being a guest on, and of the weekly LinkedIn Live show, No Strings Attached.
In this episode, Mark shares his insights into what is really going on in the minds of healthcare workers and first responders as they daily confront the horrific and terrifying situations to keep the rest of us safe. He reveals how they are “Finding Brave” within them, and what they are doing to stay strong through the pandemic and not become casualties of this war.
But you don’t have to be a healthcare worker or first responder to glean wisdom and support from Mark’s empowering messages, as each and everyone one of us has experienced stress and trauma at some point in our lives.
Highlights from this Episode:
- What trauma looks like in the brain and the key differences between it and stress [3:54]
- A story that demonstrates how one can benefit from having what Mark refers to as “internalized solidness” [7:10]
- His thoughts on coaching and therapy, and where a crossroads exists between the two [9:05]
- What is surgical empathy, plus a practical exercise that you can use to help get past any obstacle [15:29]
- The magic that happens when people not only feel understood, but felt [20:40]
- How Mark is able to “listen into peoples’ eyes” and a powerful story of a time in his career when he did this [27:26]
- The ways that being in the physical presence of others can help in the healing of trauma, and a 3-step process you can use [34:01]
- What he has observed and come to understand about suicidal individuals and why they feel this way [36:58]
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Other resources mentioned:
Mark’s Other Books
Mark’s Medium Article, Why people kill themselves- Part 2: It’s not depression
Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
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“The difference between stress and trauma is that we’re all under stress, but when you’re under stress you can still focus on your goals.” [3:55]
“All the symptoms of PTSD are efforts to keep the feeling and thoughts from coming up and ripping you apart.” [15:58]
“In order to be alive and in order to heal, you need to go back and rethink and feel what pushed you away.” [17:42]
“I’m not sure that we’re ever fully healed from the things that happen to us, but we want to be.” [25:25]
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