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“If your emotions get the best of you, you’re not going to present the best case. It’s going to come across that it’s all about you, and it’s not all about you. It’s about why getting what you want is actually great for the organization.” – Kathy Caprino
In today’s Finding Brave episode I look at another power gap that has been experienced by the majority of women I have surveyed, which is a reluctance to ask for what you want and deserve. I reveal how there is a prevalence of this gap (77% of the women I studied are suffering from this gap) and I share a look at how this holds women back, along with what we can concretely do about it.
Understand that asking for help is a sign that you’re strong and brave, and ready to embrace more in your life – more success, joy, reward, passion, and impact. Not one person whom you admire in the world has done everything on their own. Everyone you respect and look up to has gotten where they are through the process of asking for help. You’re not “weak” to need some assistance or support and you deserve help from others.
If you doubt that you deserve it, then take some time this week to pay it forward and offer some support to a person in your sphere who could benefit from your specific guidance. Embrace how much you have to offer and recognize your value. Commit to experiencing all the positive feelings that come with being of help to another person. And realize that there are people waiting in the wings to be an angel in your life and to support your highest growth and happiest success.
Secondly, remember that while society might still push back on women who bravely ask for what they deserve and do it confidently, that doesn’t mean we should back off. It means we need to keep asking confidently, and do it more and more, so that everyone around us begins to see what it looks like to be surrounded by strong, competent women who embrace their gifts, who want to be of service in bigger ways in the world, and who wear their success comfortably and confidently, and love to help others ascend as they rise.
Highlights from this Episode:
- What research is saying about how men and women are different in the struggle of asking for what they want [7:48]
- A major reason why therapy alone often doesn’t help us overcome this power gap [8:58]
- A real life story of someone I’ve worked with who has experienced not asking for what she wants and deserves [10:19]
- The specific lessons this brave woman learned on her journey in regards to this power gap [15:55]
- Some key reasons why women are less likely to negotiate for what they want, and how the labels we use to describe people shape this dynamic [18:53]
- The action steps you can take to ask for things you want, such as a raise at work [21:43]
- Why women entrepreneurs struggle with asking for what they deserve in their own businesses [24:13]
- How to use internal exploration, along with some actual questions to help you get started with this process [28:06]
- A powerful way to reframe asking for help [32:43]
For More Information:
The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths to Career Bliss Official Website (with Trailer)
Pre-order at https://kathycaprino.com/mostpowerfulyoubook to become the most powerful version of you and reach your highest, most thrilling potential.
Book Pre-Order Bonus #1:
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Women Don’t Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation–and Positive Strategies for Change by Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever
Kathy’s Forbes Blog, How To Ask For A Promotion In The Most Compelling And Convincing Way
Kathy’s Forbes Blog with Susan Sobbott, How Different Are Female And Male Entrepreneurs?
For more about Kathy’s upcoming book The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths To Career Bliss, check out Kathy’s weekly newsletter at https://kathycaprino.com for updates, free special offers and giveaways, contests, and more! Pre-orders are available now! And to discover if you are experiencing any of the 7 damaging power gaps today, take Kathy’s Power Gap Survey and find out!
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“It’s the story of so many women, and I have lived this. I have lived not feeling comfortable to assert myself, and not feeling comfortable to ask for what I deserved.” [14:39]
“Part of this is understanding so much of what goes into why women find it so hard to ask for what they deserve.” [18:29]
“You know I always say that “greater awareness equals greater choice.” If we just come out of the gate and don’t gain awareness of what we’re thinking, feeling, and what we’re taught as children and every day in the workplace and our ecosystem, we can’t change it.” [21:19]
“If you’re in your own business and you don’t understand the value you are bringing and what that is worth, you’ve got some work to do and you’ve got to figure that out.” [25:21]
“Build the case for what you have done. One that shows clearly how you have moved the needle for your company, and that you deserve it.” [32:00]
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